sad to be said, now my feeling burst into thousand emotion. if only action were as easy as word.
i must learn to forget him by now. time passing fast but my heart keep bounting back to look for him.
keep calling his name when i already aim to forget him when his already push me away form his life.
i afraid of comitment. fear of losing someone close to me. eventhough lonely killing me softly i try to bear with it. i want to ask whether you was okay or anything, but i afraid it will just put you into trouble. my friend will mad at me. and throw harsh word toward me and most important they point out something that me myself unable to deny.. it a true damn fact that i still love you.. to you it just nothing..
but for me.. my world evolve around this feeling. every day, i ask GOD to keep away this feeling.. and i thought i made it when i never cry because of this.. i still okay when your pic appear on social network.. then again.. i was wrong.. just by seeing your name appear online.. i cant stand along ..
why must i make this thing difficult? ask my heart all over again.. my heart don't want to trust my mind.. i fail to keep silently this feeling.. and i deserve to feel nothing but just a trash for people like you.. whom look down at me when my feeling conquer all.. what my heart think and what my mind thought completely diferent..i guess i can't help buta to look at you once again.. look from far so i understand your heart never be mine.. then i will force myself to give up... my attention wrote all these not because i want to gain some sympathies but.. i really wish.. u coould forgive me.. for not willing to throw you as far as i could because i never will right now.. at least i try right...?
p/s : mumbling word from my heart so i can sleep well tonight